A foot in the door may keep it open

So after lots of thought on how the process of unemployment school aid works, I feel that this program is not going to work for me and my life.

They want me to wait till everyone else is registered for school, as well as being done w/ my degree in 2 years. Can't get a nursing degree, starting from scratch, in 2 years.

Back to the drawing board:

I've decided that the best way to achieve my success is to get a foot in the medical door.

I may have to take the administrative position, that I'm not a huge fan of, but taking it at a medical office/hospital may open the door in which I have stuck my foot.

It seems to be all about who you know; fortunately my neighbor is doing his residency at Meridian Hospital, he and his wife know many people with in the company. I think moving next door to them was not an accident....but more of a universal plan.

Time to beef up the resume and reach out to my neighbors who've offered to ask around and help where they can.

If I can't get myself back into school, I WILL get myself into the industry.

Re-Orienting life

I attended re-orientation today in a room full of misfit unemployed residents of NJ. Some with out work for being incarcerated, some laid off, some fired, but all looking for a new door to walk through.

Seems as though life is again teaching me patience and acceptance rather than giving me my quick fix to where I want to be.
I'll spend the rest of the week sifting through information, setting appointments at a school and with my unemployment counselor to attain more information on my next step.

"Oh universe why can't the door just be there already? Why must I jump through hoops and take the long and winding road to wherever it is I'm supposed to end up??"

I also applied for a position today, 30 min north of where I live. I can't get used to not working no matter how much I try to spin it nicely. I really don't like being unemployed as much as I didn't like the unfulfilling job that tore the rug from under me.

As I drove home from re-orientation I prayed for clarity and answers. I prayed for the right path to show itself and most of all I prayed that my mom was still here to help me along the educational path that I'm seeking.
To be most honest, I've been lost since the day she passed...kind of wandering to find my own way with out her pushy advice, and my own eagerness to appease her.
That's the thing about Italian women, they will always push their advice on you, wanted or not.
Today I ached for it as well as her wisdom.

I s'pose this is one of my "trials" which I expected to trip me up, I just didn't think they'd come so early on.

One foot in front of the other, day at a time...I'll chip away until it feels right...

Life is all about how you handle Plan B

My plan B began June 2, 2010 when my position as the Administrative Assistant to the VP of sales was eliminated.

I drove home at 9 am on the Wednesday morning eyes full of tears and heart full of fear. What was I going to do now!? Since the age of 14 I've never not had a job (or 2), or at least had one on the way.

The carpet had been pulled from under my feet, and my future was completely unknown.

Now, I never aspired to be an administrative assistant, but a 31 year old girl with out a degree can not turn down a decent job. We all have bills to pay and mouths to feed.

I applied for unemployment an hour after I returned home and cried for about 2 weeks.

But the pity party has to end sometime, right??

I took a trip to Mass to visit my parents and spend some soul searching time in the one place that always welcomed me back...Home.

After a week of being taken care of, and much needed time with my best friends I returned back to my apartment on the Jersey Shore, refreshed, and ready to follow whatever path the universe was laying before me.

For years I've dreamed of heading back to school for my RN, but money and past loans hindered my dream, and forced me into the corporate life of unsatisfying job after job and a very beige life.

I'm not a beige girl! I'm vibrant, colorful, and full of life, so why in the world was I allowing this discomfort zone to take over??

I've been disappointed in how I let life and money control me, but how was I supposed to pay my bills, work full time, and go to school?

The universe heard my cries for change, and since I wouldn't force the change myself, it intervened and change happened.

Tuesday July 20, 2010 (tomorrow) I am attending an orientation that will tell me what kind of financial aid and grants I am allowed for school.

Weighing all my options, I am going to work towards enrolling in the fall semester for 2010.

I am accepting that I do not have all the answers today.

I am accepting that the past student loans, that I have been paying off for years, are about to rise up again..

I just can not accept a corporate job that leaves me feeling unfulfilled and bored with life.

An old roommate, and current mentor, of mine has a wall plaque that rings in my head:

"its never too late to change what you want to be when you grow up"

I'm 31 and going back to school.

I'm nervous and anxious....but I am putting Plan B into play, trusting myself and the universe to take me down the path to my dreams.

This blog will be about my journey, my trials, and most of all my successes.

I only wish my mom were alive to see how far I've already come.