It’s been quite a year and now we are at the halfway mark…
Time is a thief.
I have had some massive successes and some equally terrifying smacks with reality. I guess that’s really life though.
The successes- January I took my weight health into my own hands and as of today I am down 67lbs. This is a number I never thought I could achieve, a body I thought had long forgotten who she was… and slowly (and quickly) we are finding each other again.
Through Covid and after I had some really hard emotional setbacks in life. I lost some dear family members, and my sweet Delilah Jones who had been my furry soul mate for 18 years. Unlucky for me, I have always been an emotional eater and with all the trauma and loss things quickly spiraled out of control. I had put too much weight on my small body frame and my knees and back were really paying the price. I knew in my heart if I didn’t take drastic action, I was heading down a road that would affect my health in a really negative way.
6 months post op, I feel incredible. I have days where I do much better than others, but in general I have quite literally taken my life back. I have never been so grateful to have found my fearlessness again.
This was not an easy road. It’s still not an easy road, but man it’s WORTH it.
I am worth it.
Scary set backs- irregular mammograms in my world are terrifying. Especially at my current age, the exact age that my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.
After 3 unpleasant stereo biopsies, I now know I will have surgery on the right breast to remove a cube of tissue that includes pre-cancerous cells.
This journey by far has been the most taxing on my mental and emotional state. I have been digging deep into every ounce of what I’ve learned through my therapy sessions to ground myself and not let my mind spiral out of control. I will NOT die at 50. I will not repeat the cycle.
The good news is that this is very early on, and best case scenario for a high risk patient with my familial history. Something I repeat to myself a lot. lol
What this year has done for me is force me to slow down, live in the moments, and enjoy every minute of sunshine, flowers, snuggling with my cats, spending time with loved ones, making time for myself (which is usually digging into my TBR list - like grandfather like granddaughter 😂)
It’s reminded me of how resilient we are as humans, and that we can make the decision to not break. We can choose to dig deep and be stronger than we knew we were capable of.
So while there have been moments that I’m hanging on by a thin piece of worn thread, there have also been moments where I’m standing atop the mountain looking out ahead to this beautiful life, and not back to the scary climb.
Bring on the rest of the year,
Happy June and HAPPY PRIDE.
