Back on the Train

So I'm back here writing, after a brief hiatus where life decided to just toss all my balls up in the air to see how good I am at juggling.

The week before Thanksgiving, Andrew and I decided to move, again. The apartment we'd been renting was growing increasingly small, and the vibe of the place wasn't what you'd want for your little love nest and family. We'd gotten a new little kitten addition to our family, Mara Jade.

Our landlords were also growing increasingly irritating as they were going through some financial issues and beginning to harass me on a weekly basis about whatever she felt it was ok to unleash on me.

After a very unpleasant voicemail and our neighbors telling us that the land lords had disclosed some of our PERSONAL information I'd had it, off to Craigslist I went, I wanted to see what Highlands had for rent.

I opened the Jersey Shore CL section for rentals, and the very first rental was a 2 bedroom (more space HOORAY!) on the water, and very affordable. I emailed the lister immediately.

About a half hour later he had responded, he was going to be in town Saturday and would love for us to come see it.

YIKES! Holy fast pace!

They say, "be careful and choose your words wisely" when you're asking the universe for something as it works much faster than you think!

That weekend we went to take a look at the new place, it was indeed gorgeous with so much more space for our family of 4. The water front with its private beach was just breath taking to this little shore girl from New England. I mean, living on the water? No one can afford that in New England unless you're very wealthy and successful.

We met the landlord, looked around the place, and we filled out the application all that day. He wanted us in Dec 1st.

Wowzers Penny, that's a fast move for the girl who likes to plan her plans and have back up plans to the Plan B.

We packed, and worked hard, and moved in 2 weeks, giving ourselves an extra month to leave the old place in good condition.

So, here I am, a few blocks over on the water in our little 2 bedroom apartment loving life! I'm not going to lie, it was stress over stress financially with the holidays and all that comes along with it, but this year really closed out wonderfully for us. I feel very blessed and very empowered that I can do anything that I want in this lifetime.

Which leads me to my next exciting announcement(I say this as if I have readers haha).

By June, I will have started my very own organizing business. (HOORAY!) So stay tuned for all the plan A's B's C's and Z's that come with this new life I will build for myself.

In talking almost daily to my best friend; who works at a corporate job that pays her barely enough for all she does for them, that stifles her creativity, that enslaves her hours upon hours in a tiny cubicle and makes her so unhappy in her life; I came to the decision that I absolutely can not bring myself to march back into a corporate office and sit myself in a tiny cubicle.

The thoughts of 45 minutes for lunch at a specific time every day, being in at 7:30 sharp (or be spoken to if you have a late morning), not being able to get up and stretch your legs or be creative at any point in your 40 hour work week, make me want to immediately cry. That is not the life I will return to. Don't get me wrong, my corporate jobs gave me great training, and instilled some good "work" qualities in me, and saved me financially many times....but it is not the life I want to live.

I am a creative being, I am a spacial(and yes special too hehe) person who needs to live and breathe and flow at my own pace. I was never the cookie cutter student or employee, I always had different, more eccentric views on life and the world and all that the world holds in it.

This new found inspiration has me nervous and excited all at the same time! I refuse to entertain the questions and "what if's" I'm going to just take steps to the business I want to build.

My organizing business will begin with me being just a PO (professional Organizer), but I'm not stopping there. I'm going to head back to school and work on getting a therapist/psychologist degree so that I may help my clients obtain an organized life, leading to a peaceful mind. I know for myself that when my desk is a disaster, or my home has chores that have backed up on me, I feel cluttered and very overwhelmed. Its easy to get to the "where to I even begin" and not begin at all. I want to help and teach people how to avoid those overwhelming moments.

I want to encourage my clients to attack that big pile of bills and organize it so that it feels manageable, and not so that you keep covering up the pile of bills on the desk/dresser/table.

I will save the world from disorganization and all the bad habits that come with it! So stay tuned for my HUGE PLAN B journey. I'm super excited to see how it all unfolds.

Happy Organizing!

~Tatum

A foot in the door may keep it open

So after lots of thought on how the process of unemployment school aid works, I feel that this program is not going to work for me and my life.

They want me to wait till everyone else is registered for school, as well as being done w/ my degree in 2 years. Can't get a nursing degree, starting from scratch, in 2 years.

Back to the drawing board:

I've decided that the best way to achieve my success is to get a foot in the medical door.

I may have to take the administrative position, that I'm not a huge fan of, but taking it at a medical office/hospital may open the door in which I have stuck my foot.

It seems to be all about who you know; fortunately my neighbor is doing his residency at Meridian Hospital, he and his wife know many people with in the company. I think moving next door to them was not an accident....but more of a universal plan.

Time to beef up the resume and reach out to my neighbors who've offered to ask around and help where they can.

If I can't get myself back into school, I WILL get myself into the industry.

Re-Orienting life

I attended re-orientation today in a room full of misfit unemployed residents of NJ. Some with out work for being incarcerated, some laid off, some fired, but all looking for a new door to walk through.

Seems as though life is again teaching me patience and acceptance rather than giving me my quick fix to where I want to be.
I'll spend the rest of the week sifting through information, setting appointments at a school and with my unemployment counselor to attain more information on my next step.

"Oh universe why can't the door just be there already? Why must I jump through hoops and take the long and winding road to wherever it is I'm supposed to end up??"

I also applied for a position today, 30 min north of where I live. I can't get used to not working no matter how much I try to spin it nicely. I really don't like being unemployed as much as I didn't like the unfulfilling job that tore the rug from under me.

As I drove home from re-orientation I prayed for clarity and answers. I prayed for the right path to show itself and most of all I prayed that my mom was still here to help me along the educational path that I'm seeking.
To be most honest, I've been lost since the day she passed...kind of wandering to find my own way with out her pushy advice, and my own eagerness to appease her.
That's the thing about Italian women, they will always push their advice on you, wanted or not.
Today I ached for it as well as her wisdom.

I s'pose this is one of my "trials" which I expected to trip me up, I just didn't think they'd come so early on.

One foot in front of the other, day at a time...I'll chip away until it feels right...

Life is all about how you handle Plan B

My plan B began June 2, 2010 when my position as the Administrative Assistant to the VP of sales was eliminated.

I drove home at 9 am on the Wednesday morning eyes full of tears and heart full of fear. What was I going to do now!? Since the age of 14 I've never not had a job (or 2), or at least had one on the way.

The carpet had been pulled from under my feet, and my future was completely unknown.

Now, I never aspired to be an administrative assistant, but a 31 year old girl with out a degree can not turn down a decent job. We all have bills to pay and mouths to feed.

I applied for unemployment an hour after I returned home and cried for about 2 weeks.

But the pity party has to end sometime, right??

I took a trip to Mass to visit my parents and spend some soul searching time in the one place that always welcomed me back...Home.

After a week of being taken care of, and much needed time with my best friends I returned back to my apartment on the Jersey Shore, refreshed, and ready to follow whatever path the universe was laying before me.

For years I've dreamed of heading back to school for my RN, but money and past loans hindered my dream, and forced me into the corporate life of unsatisfying job after job and a very beige life.

I'm not a beige girl! I'm vibrant, colorful, and full of life, so why in the world was I allowing this discomfort zone to take over??

I've been disappointed in how I let life and money control me, but how was I supposed to pay my bills, work full time, and go to school?

The universe heard my cries for change, and since I wouldn't force the change myself, it intervened and change happened.

Tuesday July 20, 2010 (tomorrow) I am attending an orientation that will tell me what kind of financial aid and grants I am allowed for school.

Weighing all my options, I am going to work towards enrolling in the fall semester for 2010.

I am accepting that I do not have all the answers today.

I am accepting that the past student loans, that I have been paying off for years, are about to rise up again..

I just can not accept a corporate job that leaves me feeling unfulfilled and bored with life.

An old roommate, and current mentor, of mine has a wall plaque that rings in my head:

"its never too late to change what you want to be when you grow up"

I'm 31 and going back to school.

I'm nervous and anxious....but I am putting Plan B into play, trusting myself and the universe to take me down the path to my dreams.

This blog will be about my journey, my trials, and most of all my successes.

I only wish my mom were alive to see how far I've already come.