Since I was a "therapy kid" starting at the ripe age of 12 (I owe some big thanks to my mom for giving me this tool at a young age) I am good at really digging into myself, and uncovering some brutal honesties, and only through seeing some ugly things about myself has it forced me to create change and manifest goodness.
I was forced into letting go of people I loved starting freshman year in college. Life happened, things were changing, people were growing apart, and moved on. This concept DEVASTATED me up until about a year or so ago, when I began throwing myself down a path of acceptance. Accepting that some people do not serve a good purpose in my life, no matter how deeply I care(d) for them. Don't get me wrong, I have fought myself tooth and nail, I have cried, I went through phases of deep rooted anger....and then came......acceptance. (Cue Angels singing and a huge beam of light dawning on my thick skull!)
After acceptance I looked back into my life and wondered why I held SO tightly to these people who were so willing to move on without me, and also why I held close to others that brought out the worst in me. Talk about some crazy unpleasant realizations about myself, my neediness, and my inability to allow myself to feel alone. (that last statement is about 30 hours worth of therapy, and something I could write a novel on)
Hmm...ok this is getting dark, lets talk about the amazingness of letting go and realizing that YOU (the collective) are worth SO much more!
After the tears dried, and the anger exhausted me to a place of complacence I was able to heal myself.
Yes. People!!! We can heal ourselves!!!! Humans are amazing beings like that! If you reflect, and grow, eventually healing takes place!!
Sure, to some its a simple concept, but when you are hurting and trying to not hurt, this is a HUGE DISCOVERY!
I realized that in the long run, those that were leaving my life, weren't really serving my life in a good way.
I was now the one changing.
I had the control over who could share in my energy. (the later is also a new concept for me that I am loving these days).
My dad likes to say "Tatum, don't let people rent space in your head, they sure ain't payin' for it... you are."
A wise Bostonian, a great father, one of my best friends throughout my life- how could I not grow stronger with such a great man in my corner! (love you daddy!)
Who are you sharing your energy with, and are they deserving of it??
At a wise age of 33 years old (heh) I am becoming a little picky of who gets to share in my life, in my joy, in my fears, and in my very sacred energy; and it is EMPOWERING. I look around to my amazing friends and each day I realize how much goodness they bring into my life.
There is so much love here that this only child feels like she has brothers and sisters. I have friends who have been mentors, sisters who have let me dissolve into tears, and brothers who only see that my intentions are truly based on goodness.
Who wants a friend who thinks the worst of you?!
We've all had them, and they seem to bring fear, stress, and insecurity into the relationship. That's not fair of them, nor is it being true to yourself to keep them around. Time to rethink that relationship and get to the root of the "why's" on both sides.
I'm not telling you to ditch your friends here, just urging reflection on how they affect your life.
As you grow, and learn, and reflect, and love, and realize....I urge you to be mindful of who you let "rent space in your head", and to think about what purpose it is serving you to take on certain energies.
We are amazing beings of love; but so very capable of strong hate. Choose to reflect and to realize, and cultivate change in yourself.....because you can!
I raise my coffee cup in love, to this brand new day!
lovelovelove
~tatum
