Qualifications and judgements...ahhh the workin' world

I've been on the job hunt for a few months now, and I'm pretty sure I have applied to every single open position for an administrative roll between Central NJ and the Jersey Shore. Finally, last Thursday I got a promising call, then Friday I had one of the best interviews I've ever had. My weekend was full of hope and some major stress subsided, but I was a touch nervous about the second interview on Monday.

Monday came, the interview went really well, I thought I had this job in the BAG! Later that day I got a call about a 3rd interview on Tuesday, I actually wasn't nervous for this one.

Upon leaving the building after meeting with the 3rd person in this company I was told that I may not be a "great fit" for the position. Not going to lie, I was super devastated, I had to go back to square one and start ALL over again with no prospects, and only 4 weeks left on unemployment. Stress City. :(

I wonder why they made me jump through so many hoops, or why after two fabulous interviews where I was all but offered the position did the third person think that I wasn't a great fit. I'm not going to sugar coat it, I'm bitter and super frustrated. I was made to feel under qualified for a position that I was OVER qualified for.

Here's my hurdle that I've been trying to overcome- on paper, my qualifications are mediocre and sort of all over the place; in person I am more qualified for these positions that I've been tirelessly applying to.

I work hard. I learn quickly. I am eager to please people I work for and with. I have experience.

Alas, I am judged by that piece of paper and the fact that I was laid off almost 2 years ago.

Our country is in a very bad position in the working world- prices are going up, salaries are going down, people are desperate for work and doing anything they can to get by. Its fricken scary out there folks. I can't make someone love me right off the bat, or if they love my personality I can't convince them in an hour that I am perfectly qualified and able to do the job that I am interviewing for.

I'm being judged, and getting nowhere.

How frustrating.

I'm now applying to jobs that I am far overqualified for, hoping that by some glimmer of hope someone will snatch me up and I can prove myself all over again. Starting off where I did almost 8 years ago when I started my very first job in an office setting. So I guess that's my plan B - work as many jobs as I can to get by.

Not as fair as we'd like it to be, but we do what we can to get by.

Its very true that you need an "in" to get anywhere in the working world these days.

Good luck out there, its mayhem!

Workin' on plan C

Tatum ;)

Etiquettely Speaking- Wedding Rules??

Andrew and I have been engaged for 2 months and a few weeks now, and with my neurotic organization skills I'm sure you're thinking that I have it all planned out and we'll just
sit around and save money for the next year and a half... this is hardly the case!

Being the Tatum that I am, I've never been one to follow the rules, or be sure that old e

tiquette has been met. I'm sure my mom is pacing around up in heaven wondering what kind of crazy parade my wedding will be since she's not here to reign me in (not like she ever could haha).

Of course the first thing that Andrew and I talked about, as we laid in bed the night we got engaged was "who will be in our wedding party?" Clearly I've had a running list my whole life, and its been amended and added to and even one or two people subtracted as they have been removed from my life. About 2 hours later we realized we were about to have a 20 person wedding party.

Uh Ohhh!!!! The horror! How can you hav

e such a big party! Its sooooo unmanageable! (or so I kept hearing) ... so I took a silent poll from friends who have gotten married.

I asked around about wedding remorse and regret...some of it was offered to me without asking, and completely appreciated- of course I take it all with a grain of salt.

There were a few who had zero regrets- their wedding was the best ever!

Then there were some that listened to the "etiquette" books or even the etiquette police and looking back they're not sure why they didn't just do what they wanted in the first place.

So after my poll and lots of chatting with the ol' fiancé, we decided that a big party is exactly what we wanted and exactly what we're having. We have 9 bridesmaids and 9 groomsmen, and of course our sweet flower girl and ring bearer.

I'll be very honest here, looking back I found it silly to be nervous that we had "too many" people that we wanted to stand up with us. Each and every person in our wedding party has made a huge impact on our lives, they're important to us and we cherish those relationships- how could we have ANY of them just sitting in the audience?! No way!!! We are so grateful to have so many people who love us so much that they'd stand with us, as we take the biggest steps in our lives. What a life we must have lived to be so rich in love and relationships.

Whew! Step 1- wedding party complete!

Then came the most annoying part(so far)- picking the date. Weddings are COSTLY! Especially when you want to share it with your nearest and dearest 200 friends and family- and friends of family and family of friends...it actually makes my head spin when we add or subtract to and from the guest list. Oy!

My initial thought was sometime in 2014- a few years to get it all together and to be comfortable enough financially to do exactly what we want....that was MY initial thought, Andrew's wasn't on the same train. So after lots of thought and talking about seasons and locations we came up with 9/14/13. Thats a year, 9 months, and 14 days from when we got engaged. Ok, I can do almost 2 years....

"Two years! Good grief! That's so long! Don't you know you're only supposed to be engaged for a year!"

Who wrote these damned rules? I want to buy their book and hit them in the head with it.

I'm actually nervous that as of now I have 1 year, 6 months and a few weeks left to plan the biggest day of my life. Thankfully I have a fiancé that is almost as involved as I am.

Location location- breakin' all the rules!

I've been told that "the bride gets married where she grew up"......

hmm....

My first thought- GREAT I love Massachusetts! However, after more thought, it made no sense to me. Andrew and I fell in love in NJ, we moved into our first, and second place together here on the NJ Shore...I have a life here, we have a life here....what connection does he have to Massachusetts aside from hating the New England Patriots??

I didn't want to get married in a place where he felt disconnected. I wanted to get married where our life together started. Where we overcame so many things that you need to overcome in relationships. I wanted to get married on the beaches of the NJ shore where I moved almost 4 years ago so that I could grow into my own adult with no influence from my past.

I moved here to start new, to grow up and see if I could make a life no matter where I lived. You'll ask my friends and family from home and hear stories about me following a boy or a friend...but I know deep in my heart, after I lost my mom, I needed to get away and heal my broken heart. Was it convenient that Andrew was here?? Absolutely! He was a perk of the move, but most certainly not the motivation for it.

Is it annoying that my entire past has to travel here to watch me walk down the aisle?? Am I breaking all the rules?? Probably- but aren't destination weddings le chic??

So we'll get married where we live together, we'll have a huge wedding party, and I will spend the reception in sneakers where my soon to be husband will sit behind

his drum kit and play music to me while I dance with everyone I love...

It seems to me the only reason girls go bridezilla is because they've been smacked with the etiquette book too many times.

Break. All. The. Rules.

Its actually kind of fun.