Right?
Actually I am sitting here sick as a dog in my bed eating chocolate and guzzling water- not thinking about workout regimes or the like. I'm thinking about "what would I do with all my time if I could stop sneezing for 5 minutes".
That's right, for my first married Christmas I am as sick as they come, in bed on my new lap desk that my husband, who knows me better than anyone, bought for me since I spend the majority of my time at home snuggled up in bed on my computer with my kitties. Don't judge me its like -20 degrees out there, I'm warm and comfortable; you may be jealous, but you may not judge.
So this year was crazy for us, we moved to Massachusetts, my husband went to work in Boston, I went back to work for good ol corporate America and we've been shacking up with my parents for the better part of a year. We finished planning the wedding, had showers, bachelor/bachelorettes, and then got married. It was a crazy intense awesome summer. We are so grateful for the generosity and love that was showered upon us from our loved ones. Really its surreal how full of awesome our life is. Which is great when you're coming off a hurricane that took everything you love away from you- like your bomb little apartment on the beach in that fabulous little blue collar beach town that you felt so at home in...
But I'm moving on... slowly.
So I'm coming off the wedding high, and honeymoon high- man what a great high that was. Our wedding was solely the best day of our lives- I could have lightened up a bit (or a lot) but it was perfect.
While coming down harshly off this blissful high I am smacked in the face with some realities that I've been ignoring for a while- like years a while. No more distractions...
I need to remember who I am.
I am married, and I LOVE my married identity (Hello Mrs. Lenaghan- I love the sound of that - speaking of I should actually change my name soon)
...but I need to remember that scrappy little Quincy broad who loves the world with her whole heart and kicks anyones ass who does her (or anyone she loves)wrong. Or at least kick them to the curb- ahem.
I've become a bit of a "turn the other cheek doormat" as of late.
Its so not a great color on me ... very khaki in my bold world of bold colors.
I have let some words slide, and stick, and sting.
The girl who hits the world headfirst in the mouth then thinks after, "maybe it wasn't the brightest move"- feels complacent, almost insecure.
The girl who will show you all her cards before keeping a secret- keeps her mouth shut and hurts quietly.
I would sell myself down a river before I could muster a lie or hurt someone I love- to a fault (a-hem)
I know myself.
I know my truth.
Why do I doubt??
Why so soft?!
Why so complacent!!!
How did I become this person?! Is it the loss of my mother, or my home? I thought at least those things made me as strong as granite by now.
20 year old Tatum would be so disgusted, and so would my parents....and 34 year old Tatum is over it too; lets be real here.
I am me, heah me ROAH !! (shoot- you heard me)
I am the sparkly shoes on top of your doormat, I am NOT the doormat to someone else's suck mood. YA HEARD!!
Christmas Eve I faced a hard lesson; one that I have been avoiding for quite sometime - in the words of Kenny Rogers, "know when to fold"
So, Kenny, I fold.
I know me.
I know my truth.
This is me, taking back my bold bright AQUA sequin identity, as Mrs. Lenaghan (*squeel* I soooo love the sound of that)
Watch out 2014 because I am back and even more sure of myself than ever.
Nothing on my plate but a great future with the greatest man alive and some of the best friends and family anyone could dream of.
(seriously you guys are my world- you know who you are xoxo)
I challenge you- kick it to the curb, whatever/whoever is making you doubt yourself.
Chuck that Khaki complacent personality and grab that bold identity... its who you are, its what makes you, you.
And that "you" is what makes this world a better place.
Rock your purple hair, grow out that epic beard, sing loudly down the hallway in that corporate building that you spend the majority of your life in (many know that I do)
Know your truth.
Trust in who you are.
No one, and nothing else matters.
Yeah BUDDY!
Who doesn't love a sweet self pep talk after a rough few days??
whew that makes me almost want to get up and do a victory lap... when I am done sneezing....
-from my wedding gown and aqua chucks- to your sequin pants and purple velvet blazers I bid you funky evening.
