Free Like Me

There are days I wake up and wish I was half as smart as you were.

Times that I look in the mirror and wonder who's end of the stick was shorter

There are moments in my life when I wished a little more of your wisdom had penetrated the walls of the womb before it was too late;

Instances when regret fills my soul with fear and sadness and I just wish in that exact moment that I was stronger- like you.

Minutes when I wonder what the darkness I was kept in was for, to keep me safer; or to keep you from seeing things for what they were, admitting to life that you did, in fact, need help beyond your control.

There are evenings in my kitchen as I stir in your silver pot, that I wish I could cook like you, or channel you in some way for your secrets or just your loving touch that seemed to make life so delicious.

Days in my life I look around and wish you could meet these people who have touched my life, helped me grow, dried my tears, and accepted me for everything that I am and most of all showed me love.

These people, mom, you would have loved for pushing me when I was unmotivated, and slowing me down when I become obsessed over the unknown.

...and then time stands still, and I think about the not so dark-ness that you tried to save me from and I wonder;

I wonder in those moments if you wished, for just a minute, that you could be free like me-

Free from the captivity that a daunting past held your heart and soul- I wish in these moments that I could have the strength, love, wisdom, and voice to show you just how it could be...