I attended re-orientation today in a room full of misfit unemployed residents of NJ. Some with out work for being incarcerated, some laid off, some fired, but all looking for a new door to walk through.
Seems as though life is again teaching me patience and acceptance rather than giving me my quick fix to where I want to be.
I'll spend the rest of the week sifting through information, setting appointments at a school and with my unemployment counselor to attain more information on my next step.
"Oh universe why can't the door just be there already? Why must I jump through hoops and take the long and winding road to wherever it is I'm supposed to end up??"
I also applied for a position today, 30 min north of where I live. I can't get used to not working no matter how much I try to spin it nicely. I really don't like being unemployed as much as I didn't like the unfulfilling job that tore the rug from under me.
As I drove home from re-orientation I prayed for clarity and answers. I prayed for the right path to show itself and most of all I prayed that my mom was still here to help me along the educational path that I'm seeking.
To be most honest, I've been lost since the day she passed...kind of wandering to find my own way with out her pushy advice, and my own eagerness to appease her.
That's the thing about Italian women, they will always push their advice on you, wanted or not.
Today I ached for it as well as her wisdom.
I s'pose this is one of my "trials" which I expected to trip me up, I just didn't think they'd come so early on.
One foot in front of the other, day at a time...I'll chip away until it feels right...
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